New job, who dis? The awkward badges, forgotten names, and swag bag moments that define every first day.
IT setup takes all morning
Forget someone's name immediately after intro
Given a company swag bag
Can't find the bathroom
HR presents for over an hour
Badge photo came out terrible
Sat in someone else's usual seat
Wrong Slack workspace joined at first
Asked where the kitchen is twice
Forgot the WiFi password already
Introduced to too many people to remember
Got a 'welcome to the team' Slack flood
★
Company org chart doesn't match reality
First meeting agenda was completely unclear
Found an outdated training doc from years ago
Ate lunch alone awkwardly
Someone gives a contradictory onboarding tip
The desk setup was not ready
First assignment is 'just get familiar with things'
Accidentally replied-all in the first week
Had to ask someone to repeat their name
Company acronym used and not explained
Coffee machine took three attempts to figure out
Access to a key system is still pending
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