Graduation Bingo Cards

Someone's tassel is on the wrong side before the ceremony even starts. A speaker uses the phrase "the real world" no fewer than three times. The name gets mispronounced just badly enough that the graduate visibly flinches. Graduation bingo runs on the bittersweet absurdity of the day — the hour-long ceremony for a diploma handshake that lasts four seconds, the parent who cries during the processional before a single name is called, the obligatory 'what are your plans?' question that starts the moment it's over. It gives everyone something to track while they're waiting for the right name to be called.